Reflecting on last nights dream...

Last night I dreamt that I was once again in Henry’s house. Henry was my house-mate for six years and my friend for over 10 years. He passed away from cancer over 5 years ago. In my dream I was alone in his house, and I stood for a long time just watching the sunlight coming through the partially draped windows. Finally I went into the kitchen looking for something sweet. There was a large chocolate cake in the fridge that looked like it would have been good about a week before. I debated whether or not to eat it, eventually deciding not to. On the counter I found a lemon cake from the night before. It was already stale but the lemon filling still looked good. I tasted some, but it seemed to be void of any flavor. I went back into the living room. I sensed that someone was there with me, not Henry but his widowed wife or maybe a mutual friend named Suan. But no one was there. And I stood there, alone, sad, listening to the silence. When I woke up I cried in the shower. Why? I miss his friendship. He was one of the few people I have met in my life who understood who I was; who understood how growing up afraid my father would kill me or someone else effected me; who understood that if I needed something it took me a while to know it. He also believed that I could do great things, and that I was capable of a great love. Would I have found that great love, my wife and my children, if not for Henry introducing me to the possibility that I could have those in my life? That I deserved to have them? I don’t know, but I do still miss Henry. And today, I sure could use that encouragement in my life.

OK, enough wallowing…

Today is my daughters first day of 2nd grade. She got her hair cut yesterday and she has some new clothes. What an exciting time! More about that later, gotta go now…