My Son's Upsheren (3rd birthday)
My son was born with shoulder length, beautiful dark brown wavy hair. So by the time he was 3 years old, his uncut hair was in his face most of the time and I couldn’t wait to cut it. You see, my beloved wife is Jewish, and it is her tradition to wait until the child’s 3rd birthday to cut their hair (called an upsheren). This is a beautiful tradition, which symbolizes the pureness of children and the fact that they come straight from God. It is a way to honor their sacred innocence.
During the days before my son’s 3rd birthday, my wife and I told him about the upsheren ceremony, and that his hair would be cut in front of those gathered for this special day. He was excited, and a little wary. I felt pretty much the same way. Truthfully, it drove me crazy the way his hair would fall into his food when he was eating, and then it would stick to the sides of his face. And he hated washing it, which I wanted to do every night before he went to bed. For these reason’s, I was anxious for the day to come when I would cut his hair. But I had other feelings that came up during the actual ceremony that I was unprepared for.
His upsheren was at our house with about 30 people and the rabbi present. My son’s long beautiful hair was pulled backed into one thick ponytail, and the ceremony was just about to begin. Suddenly I looked at him and I felt a sadness start to come up inside me. My son was about to loose some part of his innocence for the first time. My eyes were starting to tear up with this realization, and then it was time for me to stand up behind him holding the scissors while the rabbi said a few words. My son was silent and still, bravely holding in his anxiety with everyone watching him. It was unknown territory that he was about to find himself in. Then it was time. I held his banded hair in one hand while I started to cut with the other. That’s when it hit me; this was not the first time that I had cut away some of my son’s purity, breaking his outer connection to some divine and sacred past.
The first time was when I cut his unbiblical cord right after he was born.
As I worked the scissors on his thick band of hair, I suddenly hand a very profound experience of being in 2 places at once. I could never before that point have understood how this would be possible, but emotionally I was truly in both places in that one moment of time. As I was cutting his hair I was also cutting his cord. Time and space no longer separated the two events. And after I cut his hair, I cried. Gone were the days of strangers asking me what my daughters name was for clearly now he was a boy with short hair, and I felt joy and I felt sadness simultaneously. It was amazing, and I was overwhelmed by my own emotions.
As for my son, he was pretty quiet about it for the first day. The following day he told me how much he loved his hair short. “Thank you!” he said. It was the most profound “thank you” that I have ever heard.
During the days before my son’s 3rd birthday, my wife and I told him about the upsheren ceremony, and that his hair would be cut in front of those gathered for this special day. He was excited, and a little wary. I felt pretty much the same way. Truthfully, it drove me crazy the way his hair would fall into his food when he was eating, and then it would stick to the sides of his face. And he hated washing it, which I wanted to do every night before he went to bed. For these reason’s, I was anxious for the day to come when I would cut his hair. But I had other feelings that came up during the actual ceremony that I was unprepared for.
His upsheren was at our house with about 30 people and the rabbi present. My son’s long beautiful hair was pulled backed into one thick ponytail, and the ceremony was just about to begin. Suddenly I looked at him and I felt a sadness start to come up inside me. My son was about to loose some part of his innocence for the first time. My eyes were starting to tear up with this realization, and then it was time for me to stand up behind him holding the scissors while the rabbi said a few words. My son was silent and still, bravely holding in his anxiety with everyone watching him. It was unknown territory that he was about to find himself in. Then it was time. I held his banded hair in one hand while I started to cut with the other. That’s when it hit me; this was not the first time that I had cut away some of my son’s purity, breaking his outer connection to some divine and sacred past.
The first time was when I cut his unbiblical cord right after he was born.
As I worked the scissors on his thick band of hair, I suddenly hand a very profound experience of being in 2 places at once. I could never before that point have understood how this would be possible, but emotionally I was truly in both places in that one moment of time. As I was cutting his hair I was also cutting his cord. Time and space no longer separated the two events. And after I cut his hair, I cried. Gone were the days of strangers asking me what my daughters name was for clearly now he was a boy with short hair, and I felt joy and I felt sadness simultaneously. It was amazing, and I was overwhelmed by my own emotions.
As for my son, he was pretty quiet about it for the first day. The following day he told me how much he loved his hair short. “Thank you!” he said. It was the most profound “thank you” that I have ever heard.
posted by Jason at
11:13 PM
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