Interlude

Just a quick report of what's on my mind right now, then I have a serious matter I need to attend to...

In The News
Finally, some real investigative reporting (the kind that you don't see much of these days).

In My Life
I just found out that my daughter is sleeping over her friend’s house tonight. My wife called me at work to tell me that she has been picked up already. That means I won't see her until tomorrow evening. I am having one of those moments when it feels like time is spiraling out of control. My kids are growing way too fast, and before I know it they will be living their own lives too busy to visit me. What will I do then? I am not one of those parents who can't wait for their children to be off to college.

On the other hand, I get to spend some quality time with my son tonight. And I am sure he will enjoy having my full attention without his sister tackling him every 20 minutes. My wife will be at work, so I can even order in pizza!

That's about all I have time for right now. I have that serious matter to attend to... My Haagen-Dazs Vanilla Swiss Almond ice cream is melting...

Civil Liberties At Risk

OK, I just have to say something now about the Terri Schiavo case. I am appalled at what is happening and the precedence that our government is trying to set. As I read about the bills and laws that the Governor of Florida, the President and our Congress have created and passed solely to force the reinsertion of her feeding tube against the wishes of the person she herself appointed with power of attorney, I began to feel extremely worried. How long until this government decides that they know better what I should do with my life than I, or my wife who is my power of attorney, knows? While I do feel deeply for the parents and family of Terri Schiavo, I am appalled at the audacity that they are showing in their illegal fight to keep her alive. They don't seem to realize the precedence that they would be setting if they should win. Would they want the government to decide their fate when they are old and feeble? I doubt it. I understand their grief; I would be devastated if one of my children were to have gone through what their daughter experienced. But it is time for them to be with their daughter, to bless her and to let her go.

I am also outraged by the media's coverage of this story. I have not read one story that is not biased towards the family while attacking her own husband and power of attorney. It seems that the media and our government have decided that this guy is a slime bag for wanting to carry out his wife's wishes. I'd like to see a story that talks about this guy’s courage and commitment to do the right thing in spite of everyone, even our so called "President", telling him that he is wrong. I'd like to see a reporter who has the balls to say the truth; that this story is not about "pro-life", it's about pro-civil liberties. Our laws clearly state that the President and Congress have no right being involved in a case such as this.

What do you think?

Advice Column for Parents

I am working on my next entry, but I have been very busy and overwhelmed while time is passing since my last post. My stepson just won second place in the county science fair and now he has been invited to go up to the state level. There is a meeting tonight for all of the parents to get the details that I just found out about last night, and my wife is already going to my daughters school for a meeting of the governing board (we have some things to say to them!). I don't know what we are going to do when the baby starts school and we have 3 kids in school at once! It's a roller coaster ride, but my life has never felt as full and alive as now.

 

Anyway, while I am working on my next blog entry I thought I would throw this out. I love talking about parenting; I have a passion for it. So, if there is anyone who may happen upon this blog who would like to ask any question about parenting, or if you just have a story to tell, please leave a comment. I guarantee that all answers will be respectful, positive and keeping in mind the inherent goodness of all people.

Something Different

I am vindicated!

When I Was Your Age...

Last week my family and I went up to the snow to ski and play. We all had a good time, especially the kids. I really enjoyed seeing them play, and especially seeing my youngest son experience snow for the first time. Unfortunately his first contact with the snow was with his nose after bouncing out of a sled going down a small hill. It was hard snow that was days old so his little nose got a pretty good scrape. He cried then and I stayed with him until he was done without urging him to stop crying, and within minutes of his accident he was happily exploring this new world. My daughter also had fun playing and sledding and even trying out standing on ski's for the first time. She didn't really ski, but enjoyed getting pulled around and probably next year she will be ready for some lessons. Then there is my stepson, the double black diamond skier. He had a great time, and spent the whole time we were there skiing and playing with his friend. I really enjoyed watching them all have so much fun, but I also had some other feelings that I kept hidden.

I felt resentful. I didn't dwell on it, and I stayed clear of self-pity, but still that dark feeling was there and I knew it.

Where is this resentmemt from?

This resentment comes up mostly with my stepson. I think that this is mainly due to the fact that his father has always treated me as an adversary. It often becomes difficult for me to separate my reaction to my stepsons normal 12 year old arrogance and my resentment of his father’s rudeness. I also feel Resentment when I am feeling not appreciated and exhausted from performing all of the duties of being a parent; from carrying luggage up a hill through a small path in the snow to carrying the baby all day and changing diapers, from doing the endless cycle of dishes and giving everyone attention about their upsets and disappointments before helping them go to bed. Don't get me wrong, I love being a conscience and caring parent. But the amount of giving that it requires is incredible, and can often lead to such a depleted state that only other parents can truly understand.

Here is an example: during my recent trip with my family to a cabin in the snowy mountains my stepson at one point complained that the trip was a complete failure and that he was misable. This was after I carried everybodies luggage through 50 feet of snow as I was trying to get the baby ready for bed. I felt really resentful towards him then, and I really wanted to scold him and say something that would have sounded frightenly like my parents. "When I was your age", I wanted to say followed by how tough my childhood was so that he would see the lack of appreciation he was displaying. But I stopped myself from saying this. In fact, I never really understood why old people would sometimes say things like "when I was your age..." blah, blah, blah. Now I do.

The truth is this: to be a good parent I have to be very careful not to let my reactions to my misplaced childhood determine my reactions to my children, and even my wife. I have always liked the saying, "It's never too late to have a happy childhood", but there is a time and place for everything. And regardless of what I have experienced growing up, I need to let my children have the best life they can have without guilt or fear. I am overjoyed and I am proud that I have the strength to realize this. The truth that I can give to my children is that when I was their age, I would have been as happy and as joyful and as curious as they are right now. And it's all good. It's all good...